Saturday, October 3, 2009

Tu me manques

Today I am a real person. I have graduated high school, and although I have yet to sit the HSC exams, I am now kind of not considered to be a student at my highschool. We haven't technically 'signed out' yet, but I have no more classes, and the only reason I have to go back there now is to actually sit the exams, check up on my artwork, and hand in my visual arts book (because I was a silly silly girl and forgot to bring it on the final day).

I don't think it has hit me yet, that most of the people I have just spent the last 2 years with, I will probably never see or hear from again. And I keep forgetting that on monday morning, I don't have to wake at some ungodly hour to rush and get ready to leave for my first class. I suppose that I don't feel that sad or bad about it, because nowadays we have facebook, and email and mobile phones and blogs and.... there are so many new modes of communication that "you can't really ever get away from people", as my old french teacher said.




There are two weeks until I sit my second 'first' exam of the HSC (my real first being the french speaking exam, which was quite a while ago), and I have this sudden fear of failure, which is something I generally don't get with exams. Usually I don't really do much preparation beforehand, and get passing marks and then I forget about it. But the gravity of this for some reason seems to be much more... emphasised, I think, and even though I know I'll be able to get where I want in a number of different ways, I am still scared. I'm scared of being a real person.


School protects you from so much, and it's such a small portion of life when you consider all of the things people do and go through after it's over. It's not even really 'over', when school is 'over', everything else starts.


I think I'll stop there, for fear of getting too deep and philosophical.



--------------------

The graduation dinner was last night, and my eyes are still reeling from the camera flashes.
Here are some of my favourite photos.

Myself, Katie D & Dawn D. (Photo by: Jess C)

Katie D, Brijjy (Myself, obvious...) & Jess C. (Photo by Dawn D)

As you can see, I am extremely reflective of all light, and I am ghostly pale in all of the photos. Which, I think, is kind of humorous. It makes me think of Goths In Hot Weather, but without the ... well, weather.

------------------

Yr 12 'Muck Up' day...

I dressed as what could only be described by others as, a mime. Originally I was going to dress as AFP, but ended up demon-miming it up, and kind of got stuck between to two. In the photos you will see me truly being part of the aforementioned blog-site, however, I'll upload some of the photos in a later blog.

------------------

Uni & Colleges & other things...

I sent in an application to Sydney College of The Arts (USYD) a while back, and received an email recently letting me know that they've accepted it, but my acception into the course is pending an interview and them seeing my portfolio. So, I am currently waiting for the phonecall to set up the interview, and anxiously worrying about what I should put into my portfolio which reflects the piece about my work, which I wrote in the application. There are some works I've had for a while (like this one) and some recent ones (like my B.O.W) which I'm pretty sure I'll put in, but as with everything which I perceive others to have to judge me on, I am very unsure about every decision I make and so forth.

----------------

But anyway,

Peace&Love

B (Brijjy)

2 comments:

  1. awww you look so cute!
    you're lucky you get to get out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Trust me, there were many times when I thought I wouldn't stick it out, and I'd keep saying "Ah, screw it." But then I realised, I didn't want to be one of those people who drop out of highschool. (Not that it's a bad thing, but in regards to the standards I had set for myself, it was not an option.)

    SO I STUCK IT OUT. And now there's less than two weeks until I start exams, and I still kind of haven't studied. (I came on the computer to start writing a creative writing story for my english exam, and I'm on here instead...)

    AND NOW I AM A REAL PERSON, AND AS SOON AS I GET INTO A UNIVERSITY, I WILL BE THE YOUNGEST AND IT WILL BE LIKE STARTING HIGHSCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN. Haha.

    ReplyDelete